Better Off On My Own

Story Of My Life
8 July 2008

It was yesterday...7 July 2008,
You told me the truth and I couldn't do anything about it

Everything came crashing down...

Shadow fills my empty heart.

I felt so stupid...so friggin' fucking stupid.
For the past few days...I've been a total sucker.
Being so "Drunk in Love"....
Missing you, thinking of you...I even plan to make something for you.
I guess there's no need for that now...

You said you should have told me to give up earlier.
It was one month ago when you decided to give me hope till yesterday.
The damage is done now...
and I'm now leaving this "tree" in me to die and left to decay.

You said you're sorry...
Forgive and forget?
If it was that easy...I would have done it right away.
I just couldn't do it now...
The day I forgive and forget is the day I stop faking a smile on my face.

I couldn't sleep well that night...
No matter how I tried to close my eyes...
The beating of my heart keeps me awake...
I fell asleep and woke up all a sudden..
Thinking that 4 hours had passed, I realize it was it was only 40 minutes.

*Screams*

Couldn't go back to sleep..
I sat next to the window...
Looking into the sky...a tear rolled out..

I laugh at myself...how stupid can I be...
Thinking that you're mine for the past week.
I realize it was just me and myself thinking that way...Haha..
Smart enough I didn't tell the whole world
or else I would have been the biggest jerk ever...

I listen to songs to soothe my pain...
Sum 41, Eric Clapton, Good Charlotte...
I fell asleep...finally.

This morning I woke up and go to school as usual.
First thing I did when I reached class was "smile"
When Nav came...he realize I'm not myself.
Couldn't keep it to myself anymore...
I told him every single shit that happened.

The day goes on as usual...
Every moment was dull...nothing could cheer me up.

Now I'm here typing this..
Why am I telling the world about this?
For a reason...this is the story of my life.

I hope my message is clear to guys especially like Meng Jiang.
I hope you don't mention her name in front of me now.
Laugh at me if you want to...I'm not ashame to show my scars.

P/S: Congrats to you and your new found love...keep it burning.

"It was you who put the clouds above me
It was you who made the tears fall down
It was you who broke my heart in pieces
It was you, it was you made my blue eyes blue"

Eric Clapton - Blue Eyes Blue

"And the broken hearts parade
And I'm putting my heart out on display, there's no Masquerade,
Just a funeral march for love today
The band strikes on and playing our song
Dressed in black and we're singing along,
to the Broken Hearts Parade,
I've never been better than I am today."
Good Charlotte - Broken Hearts Parade

["Trust Hurts...Betrayal Kills"]
steph_knightz